i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
