Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
