this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
