hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
