Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
