found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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