If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
