Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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