we have officially lost it.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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