I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
