Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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