I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
