I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
