I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
im on a boat
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