girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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