I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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