There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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