Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
