it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
