mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what day is it and did you see me today?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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