someone threw a dead crab at me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
