U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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