OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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