Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
