Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
