That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
