question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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