Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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