Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
