recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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