great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
