in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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