I wannas sexs uuuuu
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
