You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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