He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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