theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We're too hungover to prance.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
