So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
