I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
