What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
