sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
