"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
