WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
