It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we're making bets on your personal life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
