3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
