Well apparently he's into motor boating.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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