Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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