who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
