Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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