sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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