he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
