We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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