Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just google imaged poop.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
