you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize